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This week has left me feeling melancholy.

I started to read a book called The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer.  It tells the stori(es) of visitors to an art camp in the early 70's  The story is told looking back - remembering - telling the reader about a life or lives lived and celebrated.  This is a big book -- about 400+ pages.

The book has a strong, racy beginning.  When I first read it, I thought about how when we are young we think we (and we alone) have invented bad language and bad behavior.  We forget ( or don't want to think about) our own parents going through the same, or similar journey.  We forget there was lust and unplanned pregnancies before rock-n-roll music corrupted everyone.  We forget...or choose not to remember.

This book left me introspective.  This is a difficult place to be when your list is long and your time frame short.  I put the book on the shelf and opted for a book on tape.

The book I listened to (while working on other projects) was What Happened to Goodbye by Sarah Dessen.  Sarah is a Young Adult author.  This genre appeals to me because the narrator is usually young adult or a child.  If the book is written correctly, the musings are honest and very real.  The book is about a young girl who has moved so often that she coped with the constant change by reinventing herself with each move.  She goes so far as to use different forms of her name (Elizabeth) with each move.

When I started listening to the book, I was thinking of my own children.  As a parent you are always second-guessing your actions.  We moved frequently and it was something that was only minimally within our control.  Did we do enough for them?  Did they feel they really had a 'home' or just an address?  Of course, in the book, the main character learned that home is not an address or neighborhood - it is wherever your parents are.

Gone but not forgotten

My reading selections the past couple of weeks came from many sources.  Sue told me to read The Last Runaway by Tracy Chavelier.  I put it on my ipod and then put a copy on my nook to finish it.  I included this in a birthday package so all there is left to do is discuss the book.

Jan suggested reading The Yonahlosse Riding Camp for Girls by Anton DiSclafini.  I also included this in a gift and placed it on my nook although I haven’t got around to reading it yet.  Jan also suggested Brandwashed: Tricks Companies Use to Manipulate our Minds and Persuade us to Buy by Martin Lindstrom.  I started to read it and it seemed familiar.  I had read another book by the same author in 2010 called Buy·ology: Truth and Lies about Why We Buy by Martin Lindstrom.

The book that has kept most of my attention this week (although NOT for the reasons you might think) is Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.  It was on my list to read with Stan.  He had read it and was waiting for me to finish in order to discuss it properly.  I joined a new book club and this was the first book I read with this group.  The thing I find most interesting is that this book has been out since early summer of last year(2012) and has not been released in paperback.   The publishers will not release it as long as it’s on the bestseller list yet I haven’t found anyone who likes this book.  They are mesmerized by the plot and intrigued by the author’s division of the narrative between Nick and Amy but no one LIKES the book.  I did find out there is going to be a movie – of course there is….

On the heels of reading Gone Girl, I read a review on a book called The Silent Wife by A.S.A. Harrison.  The reviewer compared the book to Gone Girl or said it was reminiscent of Gone Girl.   The author divides her narrative but her writing is so much better.  I got the book on tape from the library and listened to it this weekend while working on projects upstairs.  I also read that this was the author’s debut novel and that she had just died.  I went online to find out more about her.  She had written other non-fiction titles; this was her first novel.  She was 65.  When I read debut, I thought ‘young’ not ‘first’.  I felt a sense of relief that she had lived to see some success.

This got me to thinking about how we view success and enough.  Two people close to me have lost love ones this past month.  I think when you lose someone, it does not matter to you that they have lived a good life or that they are no longer suffering.  When you care about someone, it does not matter if they were 5 or 65 or 85.  What matters is that they are not here and you miss them. 

You cannot call them up and tell them just one more story.  I had a very good friend who lost her parents in a car accident several years ago.   She asked me how long it hurts.  My answer was (and is) that it doesn't stop hurting.  Some days it hurts less, but when you love someone and they are gone...it still hurts.

We are given moments on this earth.  Embrace them ... and those around you.